kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I love you. Go after that dick
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
