I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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