How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
