Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
