Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
