the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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