you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
