Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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