All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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