another moral hangover. fuck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize
