Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
