Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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