Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
