Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
