Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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