It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
