she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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