The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
