She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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