it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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