PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
