Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
