She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
