Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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