i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
