At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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