I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
