i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
