help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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