O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
