I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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