Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
