Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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