Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
