The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
