Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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