Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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