Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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