Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
