Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
