my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
