She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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