I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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