I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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