roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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