He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
