i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
