Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
