remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
