Got a toothbrush?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
