sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
