i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
